An Interview with Count Vladislaus Dragulia
by cubanagurl
Summary: interviews with the best guy in Van Helsing
1. Chapter 1

Interview with Count Vladislaus Dragulia….

**heyy this is cubanagurl saying that there is gonna be an interview with Count Vladislaus Dragulia...Yay! Two authors sent me questions for Dracula to answer...the two lucky authors to have their questions published...Starzilla and MissHaileeR!**

Dracula: Hello everyone... I am Count Vladislaus Dragulia...and I am here to do an interview... I am not quite sure why I am doing this...but I would be glad to answer all your questions... So the first interview will be with...Starzilla! Wait, Starzilla? I remember her...she's the crazy one who mixes me with all these random people..

cubanagurl: Please don't pay attention to him...he's a meany...now, Dracula, why are you being rude?

Dracula: I cant help it...

cubanagurl: Apologize...

Dracula: Sorry... Let's start! first question...

**_Starzillla's Interview.._**

~Do werewolves really like vampire meat?~

Dracula: Uggh...YES! Well, think about it, why would I have a werewolf antidote then? Stupid werewolves...such a pain..

~What do you think of Edward Cullen?~

Dracula: You mean Peter Pan, right? Or is it Tinker Bell? Anyway, Edward Cullen is a pain in the a$$, he is soooo annoying! I mean what vampire is a veggetarian, sparkles like a pixie, and practices absintence? Seriously... He is a disgrace to us all...

~ Do you hate him to death?~

Dracula:Heck, yeah! He is such a moron..Geez...I think he might be a transvestite...On the other hand, I think he is emo! Well, end of this interview...Next up is...You have gotta be kidding me! Not her! Anyone but her! MissHailleeR...seriously...

cubanagurl: Do you have to be that mean?

Dracula: She scarred me for life! I am in therapy now because of her... She even puts me outta character in stories...

cubanagurl: Just do the stupid interview! we haven't got all day...

Dracula: Ok...

**_MissHaileeR's Interview._**

~Would you like it if Anna got implants?~

Dracula: Of course! Even though, she really doesn't need them... But, double d's sound good to me!

~ How much gel do you use in a week?~

Dracula: Five bottles... just to make my hair shiny and smooth...

cubanagurl: Can I touch it?

Dracula: NO! Leave the hair alone!

~Whats your favorite color?~

Dracula: Black, red, and gold...Hint: Thats why I had Anna wearing that red and gold dress (:

~Does Pepto Bismol help you with your digestive problems?~

Dracula: What kind of question is that?

MissHaileeR: I am your doctor..

Dracula: Well, in that case, no...I need new meds..Quick, I need them... Scurry off...NOW!

~Do you ever make it to the bathroom?~

Dracula: Whats with you and bathroom questions? It's personal...Yeah, I kinda don't make it to the bathroom...sadly...

~How long do you stay in there?~

Dracula: My record is two days...Wait, is this going in the web?

cubanagurl: Yes...0.o

Dracula: CRAP! Don't listen to a word I say, people! I am lying, completely...Why me?

~What kind of straightner do you use?~

Dracula: I use a new one called Revlon...or whatever its called...its pretty good...

NOW...leave me alone... I am going to sleep...Someone care to join me in my coffin?

Brides: MEEEE!

Dracula: Uh no...

cubanagurl: I am guessing me...

Dracula: Maybe...

cubanagurl: Oh boy...

**I hope you liked it...Now, my fellow authors and authoresses if you want to interview Dracula...send me questions...he will be glad to answer it! REVIEW MY LOVES! Two interviews per chappie by the way... -cubanagurl**


	2. Chapter 2

Another Interview with Count Vladislaus Dragulia...

**Heyyy it is I cubanagurl...this is yet another interview with our beloved Count Dracula...**

Dracula: Yeah, yeah I think they get it, cubanagurl...

cubanagurl: You just ruined my enterance!

Dracula: Now is is time to make mine... I am Count...

cubanagurl: They know who you are stupid...

Dracula: Whats wrong with you?

cubanagurl: Nothing..just nothing... start the interview...

Dracula: Already...first interview is with..Veronagrrl... oh yeah the one I had to explain how I had to drag Anna into the masquerade... Well, let me tell you something else, I literally dragged her once it had begun... you can just hear her screaming just outside the doors! And she bit me! Wait, I should be proud of that...

cubanagurl: START THE FRICKEN INTERVIEW ALREADY!

Dracula:o.0 ok... first question...

_**Veronagrrl's Interview...**_

~what do you do other than killing people of course?~

Dracula: Its not like I kill people for sport! Who do you think I am?

cubanagurl:Dracula the vampire...

Dracula: Hmm... well that makes sense.. Well, to answer your quite delightful question, I spend most of my time reading...and...

cubanagurl: Seducing other women...

Dracula: *clears throat*Ok, whose interview is this?

cubanagurl:Yours?

Dracula: Yes...and that means?

cubanagurl: I should go away

Dracula: Thank you! Back to my point... Sorry for the inconvinience... I also workout, and cubanagurl don't even say it...

cubanagurl: I didn't say a thing...

Dracula: Ha! You did now...HUSH! Next question..

~What do you think of the Cullens?~

Dracula: Same as I think of Edward. Pathetic,gay, emo, STUPID,useless, whiny..*whines* Why do I have to answer this question?

~If you could, would you want to sparkle?~

Dracula: Wtf? I say that sparkles are gay...Why in the world would I, Count Vladislaus Dragulia, want sparkles? It's pointless..It'll just scare the girls away, geez!

~If you were to go back in time and actually bite Anna, would you?~

Dracula: Uhmm.. this is an obvious answer...Of course I would! C'mon, you never get a girl like that everyday...They come and go,but this one..*chuckles* She just can't get enough..Oh and she wants to be drained..

Anna:Yeah, cuz I totally want to be drained by my enemy *sarcasm*

Dracula: Oh shush, Anna! You know you want me

Anna: Just listen to yourself , you sound like a desperate fool who just wants to get laid. Now that sounds familiar..

Dracula: No...never heard of it...

Anna: Uggh...Stupid bastard. *leaves*

Dracula: She digs me totally. Hmm...end of interview... Isn't there supposed to be another one?

cubanagurl: *remains silent*

Dracula: Uhh.. you can talk now...

cubanagurl: Thank all that is mighty...I thought I was gonna die from silence...

Dracula: How is that even possible?

cubanagurl: i had an espresso and chocolate...oh forgot the Monster..

Dracula: ok then...yeah where's the other interview?

cubanagurl: I am right here..

Dracula: WAIT! _you_ are the next interview?

cubanagurl: Yup...

Dracula:This is gonna be ugly...

_**Cubanagurl's Interview**_

~ What do you mean by you and Van Helsing being ''brothers in arms?''~

Dracula: Well, we were actually very close

cubanagurl: o.o

Dracula: Not that way! Why are you always so dirty-minded?

cubanagurl: Hahaha I think thats you

Dracula: I think you are right...

~ Why do you have three brides?~

Dracula: I just wanted booty calls...

cubanagurl: Gross...

~ If you had to, would you trade the brides for Anna?~

Dracula: To tell you the truth I would...not like I would even love a human anyway..

cubanagurl: Sounds familiar...

Eric Northman: Please don't bring me into this..

cubanagurl: Too late! (:

~Are you in love with Anna?~

Dracula: Didn't I just say that I wouldn't love a human?

cubanagurl: How would I know if you are lying...

Dracula: True...well I only want her for uhmm

cubanagurl: The naughty word?

Dracula: Yeah that...

Eric: I think he loves her...

Dracula: Shut up! I wouldn't love my enemy... *sneaks a look of pic of Anna*

cubanagurl: Like you are the one to talk, Eric...

Eric: Sookie is just my pet..

cubanagurl: You defended her...

Eric: Like I said...my pet..like you have Drac as a pet..

Dracula: I am not her pet!

cubanagurl: Sit!

Dracula: Ok...

Eric: *laughs*

~What do you think of Carl?~

Dracula: irritating...annoying... Ok...we are done right?

cubanagurl: Nope.

Dracula: What now?

cubanagurl: Its time for a...

**_BONUS QUESTION!_**

Dracula: Oh geez...Ok it is from..IluvDrac...like that penname by the way... i also like my spicy latinas...

cubanagurl: *blushes* We latinas are flattered...

~ Why do you always wear black?~

Dracula: You know what? Its a vampire thing...ok? Its also how I roll...and my sorrow...of.. no feelings.. *about to cry* Ok thats all the time we have now...Ta ta!

cubanagurl: Poor dracy...

**Hope you liked it...its Eric Northman by the way...cubanagurl is too busy giving Drac over there Klenex... poor guy...he just needs to get back to his feet...maybe some True Blood...*sighes* Review my sexxy ladies and gentlemen...and I shall give you the pleasure I can...just come to Shreverport,Lousiana..Fangtasia..vampire bar...and don't worry about Pam...she's just how she is... :) - Eric Northman**


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